jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
