I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
