I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
