Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
