this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
