Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize