I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize