Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I will pee on everything he values.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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