Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
