just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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