roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He has the fingertips of a God
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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