she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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