im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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