I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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