i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
