im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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