I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
