two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
