great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
