y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Randomize
