I'm gonna have a badass scar
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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