If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
don't judge my taste in strippers
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
