Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you would pick up someone in the library
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
