I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
