I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
