FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
