Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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