If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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