i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
