dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize