ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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