Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
