I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
