Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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