thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
