He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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