So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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