In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
