just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
