I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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