And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
