But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
