Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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