never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize