I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
