Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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