I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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