glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize