I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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