You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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