do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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