Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
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