Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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