well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
