Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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