The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
