apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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