i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize
