I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
