too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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