wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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