Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
