i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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