Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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