Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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