You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You're my little dorito
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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