i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Panties = found
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
