There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
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