Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
