i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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