I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
